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Talking in my Sleep

May 1, 2013

I wake up this morning to the pale, horror-stricken face of my sister, staring at me, holding her cellphone in front of her like a ward to fight off evil. She has recorded something.

“You talked,” she tells me. “In your sleep. Kowai yo, onee-chan.”

She taps the phone and the recording plays back. I hear my own voice flooding out of the speaker, slightly distorted but quite clear. My voice, but different; flat, dull, without emotion.

… can hear you. I can hear you. I can. I can.

Fleeting winds and soaring moons, galaxies of wonders and wandering dust.

My eyes are bleeding but I can’t make them close. My heart is racing but I can’t calm down. This is the end of all worlds, the final turnpike. Stop signals. Stop. Ss… s… stop. Or come closer. It is all the same to me because at the end everything will stop. Cease. Stop. Stooooooop! (sound of something breaking – it seems at this point I made a nearby signpost explode)

The howling in my ears. The buzzing. The crawling. It comes to me in all things, in all ways, in my mind and in my heart and in the secret places. I can speak in all tongues, fly all planes, see all things known and unknown. The world is mine. The world is ours, sweetling. The secrets are ripe for the picking. No, no, no. All is but a dream.

Please end me now, please, please. I am afraid. So afraid. I’m afraid. Trains and riddles. I’m afraid. A-af… afraid…

(Here comes the sound of someone starting to cry, like a small child. It is me. It goes on for about 30 seconds and then it goes quiet.)

Hanako hasn’t talked to me for a few hours now. She is still pale and keeps away from me. I don’t know what to think about anything right now.

I’m afraid.


From → Dreams

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